Sex
Deciding if or when to have sex should be about when it feels right for you. If you feel comfortable kissing or holding hands, but you don’t want to go any further — that’s ok. In a healthy relationship, your partner respects your decisions. If you are thinking about when to have sex, keep in mind:
- You should feel comfortable with your decision.
- Talk with your partner about safe sex practices, like getting tested for STIs and considering birth control options.
- Be honest with yourself and your partner. If you’re not ready, that’s ok — your partner should respect you.
- If something scares you or makes you feel uncomfortable, you can say no at any time.
- You have the right to talk openly and honestly about your fears, worries and feelings.
- If your partner tries to threaten or guilt you into having sex, it can be a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
- No matter how long you’ve been with someone or how many times you’ve done something, you have the right to say no at any time for any reason.
- You have control over your body, and no one else has the right to tell you what to do with it
*Information adapted from www.loveisrespect.org
Consent
- Consent is informed. Consent is an affirmative, unambiguous, and conscious decision by each participant to engage in mutually agreed-upon sexual activity.
- Consent is voluntary. It must be given without coercion, force, threats, or intimidation. Consent means positive cooperation in the act or expression of intent to engage in the act pursuant to an exercise of free will.
- Consent is revocable. Consent to some form sexual activity does not imply consent to other forms of sexual activity. Consent to sexual activity on one occasion is not consent to engage in sexual activity on another occasion. A current or previous dating or sexual relationship, by itself, is not sufficient to constitute consent. Even in the context of the relationship, there must be mutual consent to engage in sexual activity.
- Consent must be ongoing. Consent must be present throughout a sexual encounter and can be revoked at any time. Once consent is withdrawn, the sexual activity must stop immediately.
- Consent cannot be given when a person is incapacitated. A person cannot consent if she/he is unconscious or coming in and out of consciousness. A person cannot consent if she/he is under the threat of violence, bodily injury or other forms of coercion. A person cannot consent if her/his understanding of the act is affected by a physical or mental impairment.
Confused about what is considered sexual abuse?